Broken Soldier
by theunknownvoice
Summary: Alec begins to have nightmares that lead to more dangerous questions.
1. Dreams

Broken Soldier

By: theunknownvoice

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter 1: Dreams

"I'm always alright," he said not looking up.

Max didn't dare believe him this time. "You can't tell me that having nightmares every night is normal," she said her eyes blazing.

"Look, why would you care?" he said his back turned to her.

"Alec, you are my SIC. That alone gives me the right to be concerned when you're acting weird."

"Just back off Max," he said coldly walking away from her.

The nightmares had been happening for the past few weeks. He was sleep deprived and depressed. He didn't want to deal with Max's unending questions.

The more he thought about the dreams the more vivid they became. He had tried everything to make them stop. He had changed his eating habits. He had moved his bed. He had even decided to lay off the sex. Nothing had worked. The dreams still came every night.

He glanced at the bottle of sleeping pills. It was his third bottle this week. He tipped his head back and downed the entire thing in an instant. There weren't enough pills in there to kill him. Hell, he could get shot with an elephant tranquilizer and still wake up the next day perfectly normal.

Again the dreams came. They weren't always the same dream. He could have gotten used to that. The dream constantly changed and the more it changed the more terrified he became.

_He could smell the blood on the ground. He could taste it in the air. It was bitter and sweet at the same time. The predator in him called out for more blood._

_His clothes and skin were stained with the dark sticky liquid. He would have to take a bath. There was no way that he could go anywhere coated in blood._

_The voices in his head demanded that he finish the job. He had to deal with the sacrifice soon enough._

_He moved towards the corpse slowly. The prey this time had been a big man. He was in late thirties. This guy had obviously lifted some weights. On his arm was tattooed he image of the blessed lady. He smirked. The lady hadn't protected this prey._

_**Do it the, **voice demanded. **Do it and she'll fix you. Do it and you'll never hurt again. You'll be back with the others. **_

_He picked up the bloody cloth and glanced at the address again. Hopefully, his sacrifice would not be in vain._

Alec screamed as the dream continuously replayed.

To be continued….


	2. Knowing

Chapter 2: Knowing

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed.

She had heard him. She didn't know how or why but she had heard.

Logan had asked her over for dinner. Their strained relationship had been put to the brink lately. She had basically been confined to TC unable to leave the area frequently. Logan couldn't understand why she was not as close to him as she once was.

She had changed. She was no longer a lone transgenic in a world of ordinaries. She was one of many transgenics trying to scrap by in a world that hated them. He had stayed the same. Sure, he had become older but his personality was the same. He had relocated and was still broadcasting "the truth."

Max was beginning to question Logan's "truth." How could you define "truth?" It was impossible but Logan was determined that his way of seeing the world was best. Max cringed. If she had not helped Logan with the initial broadcast then the transgenics would not be hunted or known about by the public.

"I was wondering if you could do a job for Eyes Only. It's only a minor one. I need you to break into police headquarters and get me some files," Logan said as gazed at her from across the table.

Max suddenly stopped listening to Logan. She was bored with endless conversations about Eyes Only. This was turning more into a business dinner than a date.

She tried to enjoy the dinner. If Logan was anything he was a good cook. But her stomach continued to tighten. Her body stiffened. Something was dangerously wrong.

It was then that she heard it. It was a scream so recognizable that Max's heart began to contract painfully. Something was happening to Alec.

She didn't say anything to Logan as she raced out of the room. She blurred all the way back to TC. She didn't know how or why but she knew that Alec was in pain.

She ran up the flights of stairs that led to his apartment. She didn't care who saw. She didn't care what the rumors would be the next day. She just cared about reaching Alec and stopping his scream. She rammed straight into Alec's door knocking it over.

She found Alec still screaming wrapped up in his blanket struggling. Sweat poured over his body as he continuously thrashed the sheets. She tried to grab him but his hands shot up automatically to block her. She knew how dangerous it was trying to wake an X-5 but she had to do something.

She blurred towards the kitchen and pulled out a pitcher from the fridge. She ran back to him and dumped the entire container of water over him.

Alec felt the icy cold break through the dream. If there was one thing he hated it was cold. He woke up suddenly but his brain didn't register anything. He moved towards the figure in the room and forced it against the wall.

Max's breath caught in throat. She felt him press her against the wall firmly and grab hold of her arm. "Alec, it's me," she said trying to break him out of instinct.

He slowly let go and collapsed on the bed. "I told you to leave me alone," he said refusing to look at her.

"Are you alright?" she asked ignoring his former sentence.

She expected his trademark answer.

"No," he whispered causing her to stare blankly at him.

She sat down next to him and laid his head in her lap. Slowly she stroked back his hair.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked as she continued stroking him.

"No," he answered slowly.

He looked at her like a lost little boy. "Could you just stay with me? I don't want to be alone," he whispered.

Max nodded as she made room for herself in the bed.

To be continued….


	3. Location

Chapter 3: Location

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed.

Max almost fell off the bed when she woke to find Alec lying next her. Her first reaction was to panic and run out of the room. What the hell was she doing in the same bed as Alec?

She had known that Alec was trouble. That itself made her uneasy. She shouldn't have known that Alec was in trouble when she was miles away from him. Alec was her friend. He had needed her.

She came to help him not to stay the night. A warm mushy feeling had invaded her senses and clouded her judgment. She should've been tough on him for telling her that he was alright. Instead she had taken care of him and quieted him.

She had been afraid. She had been terrified of loosing Alec. Alec who was a constant pain in her ass had become important to her. The image of him thrashing in the blankets disturbed her greatly. She had never seen Alec so frightened.

She moved quickly. Alec wouldn't need her here when he woke up. She didn't want to have that conversation with him.

To say that the remainder of the day wasn't awkward would be a lie. Alec remembered what Max had done for him the night before. Part of him expected her to torture him for his weakness. Another part expected her to be angry at him for lying to her. Instead Max just pretended like nothing happened. He was content to go with that.

He ended up at the TC meeting few minutes late. Max was going to have his head. He groaned as he entered the room.

"Where the hell were you?" Max demanded.

Alec just ignored her and took his seat.

"Anything interesting going on?" he asked Mole.

"Nothing except Max bitching about you being late Princess," Mole said.

"It's not like the world doesn't revolve around me," Alec joked.

Max shot him and Mole a death glare before she continued. Apparently Alec was back to his old sarcastic self.

"As you all know, Lydecker is once again planning on rebuilding Manticore. He plans to use an old Manticore facility for the new base. With White on our tails it has been a pain in the ass to keep track of 'Deck. We need to find him and destroy his future base," she said.

"Are you sure it's not the Gillette base?" Dix asked.

"That would be too obvious," Max answered.

"Eyes Only used various informants under Lydecker's command. The New York base isn't being used either nor is the base in Nevada," Logan said.

He was there because Max had asked for his input. The other transgenics grudgingly put up the ordinary. To say there was no hostility towards the ordinary was an understatement. No one understood why Max trusted this man but only Alec dared to voice it openly.

Alec kept his mouth shut this time. Logan had just proved something he already knew. Lydecker wasn't stupid enough to use a base that the majority of transgenics were familiar with.

"So that leaves us back at square one. We need to figure this bitch out quick," Max said as she glanced around the room.

"Have you tried any of the experimentation areas?" Alec asked.

Max stared at him wide-eyed. "Weren't those areas always connected with the bases?"

"Not necessarily," Alec answered. "There's an old Manticore experimentation clinic in southern New Mexico. It's out of the way and few people know it's there."

"Why would that be a good site for a base?" Dix asked.

"There is room for five hundred soldiers at that base. There is also housing for scientists and doctors. That base always got a majority of the funding for the type of experimentation they were involved in."

Max stared at him in awe. "What did they specialize in?" she asked carefully.

"Psy-ops, post-traumatic stress syndrome, reprogramming, and reviving soldiers," Alec answered automatically.

"What town are they in?" she asked.

"About an hour away from the Mexican border. They're located on what everyone thinks is ranchland."

"It's worth looking into. I'll go see if I can pull up some information on it," Dix said.

The meeting quickly dissolved after that. Only Logan, Max and Alec remained in the room.

"If this location is so secretive, how do you know about it?" Logan asked.

"I've been there before," Alec answered his voice shaking.

Max cocked an eyebrow.

"Why were you there Alec?" she asked.

Alec's hand started shaking.

"I don't remember," he answered.

To be continued…


	4. Confusion

Chapter Four: Confusion

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

A/N: Thanks to everyone who has read and reviewed.

Alec was feeling his world turn inside out. In the beginning life had been simple. He had been a former soldier doing what he needed to survive. It wasn't easy and it wasn't "morally correct" but it was what he had done. Back then his life had been uncomplicated. There had been no secrets, no strange dreams, no missing pieces of time.

Alec was an actor. He was a pretty face and pretty faces often hide the deadliest of secrets. Nothing was said between him and Max about his confession.

How had he known what the base was used for? Why had he been there before? The questions constantly plagued him. Behind his cheerful expression Alec was turmoil.

Max was not fooled by Alec's "I'm always alright" act. Over time she had been able to see through the mask that Alec had carefully crafted. It took three days but she finally managed to confront him.

"Who do you think you're fooling?" Max demanded.

Alec nearly spat out his food. "What's you're problem?" he demanded.

"You're my problem," she shouted.

"What did I do now? I haven't bothered you. In fact I've stayed out of you're way."

"Have you figured out how you knew about the base in New Mexico?"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"There's a chunk of you're life that you can't account for. You have to find out what happened to you."

"And if I would rather live in ignorance?"

Max scoffed, "I'm relieving you of your duties."

"You can't do that."

"I can and I will. You are to report to Shelly."

"I'm not going any near Shelly. She was in psy-ops. She was one of the units who experimented on me."

"I don't care. Shelly might be able to help us figure out what's going on with you."

"I'm not seeing her end of discussion."

Alec slammed the door on Max and wandered towards his bedroom.

Lately he had been trying to piece together what had happened. He didn't want anyone's help. This was, as he repeatedly told Max, his problem.

Things were too jumbled together in his head. He could remember bits and pieces of things. One memory in particular kept playing over and over.

_They were in line. He stood there like a good little soldier prepared for the day's training. Nothing was out of the ordinary. The colonel was ready to begin the exercise._

_He heard the sound of the collapse before he saw anything. There on the ground lay another X-5 male. The male was about ten maybe eleven years old and he was shaking violently. Panic rose in his chest as he saw them cart the other boy away._

_His mind kept screaming, **They're going to feed him to the nomilies. They're going to feed him to the nomilies.**_

Alec broke out of his memory. His eyes blinked rapidly and his heart became erratic. The whole time one question kept repeating in his mind. What happened to the boy who had been taken away?

To be continued…


	5. Past

Chapter Five: Past

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

The desert was hot and humid something you wouldn't expect from that part of the country. Yet the yards of the residents were intermingled with cactus and palm trees. It was a strange place, this area of the country. The roughly carved Organ Mountains loomed towards the east. The base was half an hour south of Las Cruces.

It was rough country and those who loved it were born and bred to the desert. It had its own harsh beauty.

The base wasn't like the Gillette base or the Seattle base. Manticore had built this base underground to protect it from prying eyes. After all southern New Mexico was known for its conspiracy theorists. All one had to do was look at Roswell as an example.

The base had been recently used by New Manticore but had been evacuated quickly. Someone was leaking information from TC. Manticore had moved out less than a week before their arrival.

Logan had managed to hack into spy satellite footage showing the evacuation of the area. To the untrained eye nothing was happening in this remote place but if you watched carefully you would see people and trucks moving out in small groups.

The team consisted of Alec, Logan and Max or as Alec had dubbed them the three musketeers. The nickname had earned him a smack from Max and a cringe from Logan. Alec smirked slightly. He was an artist when it came to sarcasm and he had gotten his desired affect.

Despite her threats to relieve him from duty, Max had done no such thing. She knew nothing of the New Mexico base and knew she would need Alec. Alec had been the one to inform them of the base's existence.

Silently she hoped that being there would help Alec regain whatever memories he was missing. Of course the fact that he was back to being a smart-Alec made her want to lay the smack down on his ass. Honestly, the three musketeers?

The lower levels of the building were perfectly intact. Manticore scientists had missed several key instruments. Supplies and information laid scattered around the area. Manticore must have feared that someone would be coming to close them down quick.

This all felt too much like a set-up. Alec's mind rolled through the information. There might be a mole in TC but Manticore was afraid something else. Someone must have threatened the area but who?

The three teammates split separate ways. Well, more like Max and Logan went together and Alec went exploring on his own.

_He struggled wildly as they took him into the room. Shocks ran through his body as they used tasers to keep him in line. The more he struggled the deeper the metal cut into him._

_He wasn't alone in the operating room. There were several other thirteen-year-olds struggling against their strains._

"_They'll never make good soldiers. They should all be terminated. No good comes from repairing damaged goods," one of the technicians whispered._

"_I don't give a damn about your opinion. You are here to follow orders not criticize your superiors. Put them through re-indoctrination. I want their wills broken," Lydecker ordered._

Alec stared at the med bay. It had been in here. He had been in here tied up to the table in the far left. He remembered the bleeding of his wrists and having pieces of metal removed from his hands.

Why had they brought him there? Why had been placed in this room and what had they done to him?

_He stood before them chained and naked. An elderly man watched him carefully. Renfro was in the room. He could feel her cold calculated gaze._

"_You are sure this is the one?" Renfro asked the man._

_Alec could hear the reverent tone in her voice. Renfro knew how to respect someone? Somebody alert the press. This was a front page story._

_The air was cold and the man watched him closer. Alec tried not shiver. He tried to move while the man and Renfro watched him. He had never felt so degraded, so hated before._

_He had always known that the ordinaries couldn't accept that transgenics were better. He had known that ordinaries would view them as monstrous atrocities, half man half animal. Here he was displayed as if he was a piece of property._

"_This is the one. What of the other?" the man asked._

"_We can not account for the other."_

"_He has psychological problems. What have you done to rectify them?"_

"_We're restructuring his memories. Soon he will have nothing left."_

"_Keep a careful eye on him. He's smarter than the others. He'll learn how humans operate quickly and what their weak points are. Your superiors will want him under control so suppress everything in him."_

"_I'll follow your instructions, Sandeman."_

What the hell had they done to him? What had they taken from him and who was the other one?

To be continued….


	6. Fear

Chapter 6: Fear

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

When she had found him Max had been shocked. Alec had been staring off into space for the past five minutes.

"Do you have any idea what's wrong with him?" Logan asked as they prepared to camp out for the night.

Max shook her head. The sight in front of her was too disturbing for words. Alec had walled himself off her and the outside world. He sat there shaking from head to toe.

"I don't think it's a seizure. He doesn't have them as regularly as I do. He seems to be in a state of shock," Max replied.

Gently she ran her hand over his forehead and through his hair. He was shaking and he was cold. His body temperature must be dropping in response to the shock.

Carefully she pulled him closer and draped a blanket over him. Whatever was happening to him couldn't be good.

Alec's world was becoming dark. He could see the vision becoming distorted.

_He was ten years old and he didn't understand what was happening. He hadn't been doing anything wrong. He had just been trying to find answers. _

_The psy-ops medic approached him cautiously. He began to shake as the medic drew nearer. _

_"Don't come near me," he said his voice cracking. _

_The medic still came closer the needle in her hands. _

_"Don't come near me," he repeated. _

_She still didn't listen as she moved to plunge the needle into him. He grabbed her hand stopping. He stared in horror when he looked down to find the needle lodged in her arm. _

_She screamed as they pulled her away. _

_What had he done? What had he done? What had he done? _

_He was thirteen. Why were they doing this to him? They didn't have to. He wasn't broken. He wasn't damaged. _

_They had brought him kicking and screaming into psy-ops. _

_"Don't come too close to the boy. He's highly dangerous," the head of the department ordered. _

_He wasn't dangerous. He wasn't a threat to them. He didn't hurt anyone unless they hurt him first or it was a mission. _

_He felt the pain of the laser going through his body. _

_"Stop," he screamed. "I didn't do anything. I didn't do anything. I didn't do anything. I just wanted to be normal." _

_His cries went unheeded as the continued the procedure over and over again. _

_He was twenty almost twenty-one. They dragged him through the procedures again. _

_"Purge his memories. I don't want him to remember anything," Renfro ordered. _

_"Do you want us to do another false memory implant?" the medic asked. _

_"Do whatever you have to. Just don't damage what his brain or his body. I need him viable." _

_"As you wish, Madam Director." _

_"By the way destroy all the records. Speak of this matter to anyone and not only will you be dead but so will your entire family." _

_The medic's hands shook. "Yes, Madam Director." _

_"Have a nice day," Renfro said smiling as she walked away. _

_He bucked under the cold metal apparatus. _

_"What did a pretty boy like you do to end up here?" a female medic asked. _

_"Come closer and find out," he replied. _

_Electricity coursed through his body. _

_"I'd rather not." _

_His screams filled the hospital room. _

"Max, make it stop," he yelled breaking himself from the trance. "Don't let them hurt me. Please make it stop."

"No one is going to hurt you, Alec. I won't let them. I promise you that I won't let them," she said hugging him. "What happened?"

"Max, where'd you find me?" he asked pulling away.

"You were in the med bay," Logan answered coldly. "You looked to be in a state of shock. You were unresponsive."

"What happened Alec?" Max asked.

"I've been before here," Alec whispered so softly she could barely hear him. "The last time I was here Renfro and Sandeman did something to me."

Her eyes widened at his words. "Alec, what did they do?"

"I don't know. I'm scared Maxie. For the first time I'm scared."

To be continued….


	7. Questions

Chapter 7: Questions

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Alec watched from the rooftop. Logan was doing his normal boring ordinary work. The penthouse was a far cry from what it had been when Alec first met Logan. All of the priceless art was long gone. A new security system had been added and there was an on staff team twenty-four/seven.

The new computer system was state of the art. It was the best that money could buy. There was a new camera and better ways to prevent traces. Logan had taken the Eyes Only operation to a whole new level.

Alec didn't really give a damn about Logan's crusade. He knew that Max thought the ordinary heroic but he saw the man for what he truly was. Logan was repenting for being some type of rich party boy. Most likely he felt the need to make up for his past crimes like throwing his money around without concern for the "little guy." It was all too touching a sop story. Logan really should consider selling the rights to make a TV movie entitled "Man of the People."

Alec didn't care about what Logan did as long as it didn't interfere with him. He had his own sins but his need for repentance was on a case by case basis. He wasn't like Max trying to become a do-gooder in order to be forgiven for being a soldier. He had done things to survive not out of a desire to destroy but for the simple fact of survival. Sure there were sins that he was not proud to own. Sins that could cause his breathing to become erratic and his heart to pound hard but they didn't dominate him. They didn't haunt him like the nightmares did.

His past was something he had never questioned. He had been born in Manticore. He was simply a science experiment.

He had been trained and put through psy-ops twice. Once for his "brother's" escape and once for his failure with the Berrisford mission. He had been tested continuously for flaws and had forced psychiatric evaluations regularly as a child. Now he knew that those evaluations had been Renfro's way of covering something up. He had some flaw that he didn't even know. Was he another serial killer in the making? Had Ben's flaw not been affected by outside sources but by something genetic that also lurked in his twin?

He had grown up in a close knit unit where he was the outsider. His unit mates had never wanted much to do with him. He was the manipulator and he could make friends easily but it wasn't the love of siblings or even comrades. He envied Ben and Max for having that type of relationship with their unit mates. Alec had never had that type of relationship with anyone or anything.

Alec kept his eyes on the penthouse. After his "episode" Max had decided that it was time for them to go home.

"This place isn't safe and we retrieved everything we can. Besides the computer systems were ransacked long before we got here. We'll take the papers and anything they left lying around," she ordered.

She had kept him near her watching him for signs of shock. He had almost been cationic when she found him. Even after they got back to TC she didn't let him leave her sight. She was constantly watching him and he knew she thought him weak.

He had begged her for help when he first came out of his trance. It was the shock of the memories and the fear of not knowing that made him cling tighter to her. Still he had felt this instinctual pull to be near her. Only she could make him feel at ease.

_I must be going insane. Bitchy too afraid to embrace being transgenic Max is the only thing that's keeping my sanity? I be loosing my frickin' mind._

Escaping her tonight had been a challenge. He didn't need a body guard and he didn't need her help. He was a grown man who could take care of himself.

Alec's eyes flashed as Logan began to prepare for bed. He could hear the low humming grind of the exoskeleton. He waited until the sound of Logan's snores before crawling through the apartment skylight.

The disk lay out in the open. Logan had been trying to crack the damn thing for months. It was everything about Manticore. It would contain the answers.

Alec's head started to spin.

_His CO stood in front of him a boy of twelve._

"_What were you doing?" the older boy demanded._

"_I was trying to help her," he answered his voice beginning to deepen at ten._

"_You put her at risk."_

"_She was having a nightmare would you rather I didn't do anything?"_

"_She didn't need you crawling into her bed."_

"_She likes when I stay with her. You know that she would've ended up in my bed anyway."_

"_You both could've been caught."_

"_She was scared."_

"_I don't care. You shouldn't have done that."_

"_I was careful besides it calmed her down. She needed me."_

"_Never go near her again. Understood?"_

Alec heard the alarm system start to go off. He grabbed the disk but the security team was swarming.

Someone grabbed his hand and pulled him through the skyline.

"You are so lucky I was here to save your ass," Max said before slugging him in the face.

To be continued….


	8. Words

Words

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

She didn't understand what was going on. Why did she care what the idiot did to himself? Why did she care if he lived or died? He was just her comrade, her SIC. They were friends but that didn't explain why she was so afraid for him.

She looked at his unconscious form. She had dragged him to a roof across the street from Logan's penthouse. When had Alec become precious to her? When had she realized that he was fragile, that he could be so easily broken?

That broken voice he had spoken in when he came out of his trance had been so terrifyingly familiar. The look on his face and that voice that sounded like a little boy's was a painful reminder. A reminder of something she wanted to forget. The woods had left its scars across her soul leaving her broken. Nothing would ever heal that bleeding wound or remove that mangled scar that tainted her existence.

"_Please, you know what they'll do to me. They'll put me down there with them…the Nomilies," he pleaded his hazel eyes clouded with fear._

Her stomach clenched at the uncomfortable memory. She had helped him alright. She hadn't let them take him back. With one twist of his neck she had murdered him making him free and leaving her with the weight of both of their sins.

"_I'm scared Maxie. For the first time I'm scared," he whispered his hazel eyes consumed by terror._

She didn't want to admit it. She didn't want to know that she would kill for Alec. She would do anything to keep him safe even if that meant betraying Logan. She would sacrifice everything for him including her relationship with Logan because Alec had become something more precious to her than the ordinary. Somewhere along the way Alec had become her partner, her best friend and the only person she couldn't see herself existing without.

"What the hell was that for?" Alec demanded waking up.

His head ached with pain. He felt like she had smacked upside the head with a sledge hammer.

_Damn bitch,_ he thought bitterly.

"You idiot you could have gotten yourself killed," she screamed.

"Why should you give a damn? I'm just the pain in the ass you're stuck with," he yelled back.

"I'm not going to loose you. I've lost everyone else but I'm not loosing you. I'm not loosing you like I lost Ben," she shouted her voice rising in volume with each word.

"That's all I'm ever going to be to you? Just a replacement for Ben. I'm not him Max. I'm never going to be that insane serial killer," his voice echoed through the night air.

"Don't you think I know you're not him? You're a narcissistic son of a bitch whose main goal in life is to get laid. You're a pathological liar determined to keep himself alive to hell with the consequences for everyone else."

"Yeah and he was such a saint. He never killed people in mass hunts as a sacrifice to some mythical woman he created."

"I'm not here to go over Ben's sins. I'm here because you scared the crap out of me. You lied to me, Alec. You swore that you would stay in TC."

"I'm the pathological lair just like you said. Why the hell would you give a damn about such a person? After all, I'm like a wolf in sheep's clothing. I'm a soldier...a hunter...a killer."

She smacked him hard against the face.

"Did you ever think that maybe I wanted to help you?" she demanded her voice devoid of all emotion.

"Prove it. Tell me that you trust me."

"Alec why should I tell you something that you should already know?"

"If you think you're going to make give this back to Logan then you're in for a hell of a surprise," he said pulling out the disk.

Max's eyes widened as she looked at the database. It made sense why had broken into Logan's. It wasn't Alec being reckless. It was Alec having a plan. If he could crack it open then maybe they could figure out what was wrong with him and what was so special about her.

"How long do you think it will take for you to crack that bitch open?" she asked.

"Twenty-four hours," he answered.

"You've got that long. I'll cover for you with Logan."

"Max, why the hell would you lie for me?"

"Maybe because I give a damn about you," she answered before disappearing back into the penthouse.

To be continued…..


	9. Truth

Chapter 9: Truth

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

A/N: Thanks to all of the reviewers.

He stared at the database in his hands. Here lay the answers to every question he had ever had about Manticore. Here lay the proof of the horrors of his dreams and the vividness of his flashbacks.

The disk sat in the front of him beckoning him to do his work. Here lay Pandora's Box cleverly disguised as a computer disk. Would he like Pandora regret opening the blasted thing? Was it better to live in ignorance than to know the truth?

With a few clicks of the keys and the use of Manticore's hacker training Alec could crack the database in a few hours. It was a simple operation. It was something that he could easily do without much effort. Then why was he so afraid to open the database?

_You know that you won't like the truth,_ a voice taunted in the back of his mind. _In a way you've known the truth the whole time. You can lie to yourself and hide it in the back of your mind but the truth will always come back. What will you do when you see it written down and can no longer deceive yourself and others? What will you do?_

His hazel eyes darkened at the voice's taunting. He could handle the truth. He had done terrible things. He had killed in cold blood, and committed numerous other crimes for survival. These dreams had to end. He needed to make sense of the strangeness that surrounded him. What truth could be so horrible that he be driven insane?

His mind rebelled as he began to hack through the disk. Images flittered across his brain painting vivid pictures.

Repeatedly he saw the face a dark haired girl. Her fear clouded brown eyes relaxed when he came near her. It was as if his very presence was a comfort to her.

He felt her eyes upon him as he racked through the database. He could feel her, smell her. She was young and her eyes echoed with a darkness that he knew because the same darkness gnawed at his soul consuming him.

His fingers flew over the keyboard as memories began to pour over him.

_A boy lay in his bed. He was ten years old and his body shook as if possessed. Hell was in that small barrack. The others in the room sat up terrified watching at the boy's body convulsed. No matter what they did the shakes became more violent. **He's going to die. They're going to kill him. He's defective. They'll take him to the nomilies.**_

_He could smell it. It was the scent of blood leading a thick trail through the grove. It was an intoxicating aroma causing his adrenaline to pump and his body to respond. He was a hunter. The prey was allusive but it was like all prey incapable of estimating his abilities. He almost pitied this prey, this man, for being so stupid to think that he couldn't follow the evident trail of blood through the trees._

_Her small body curled into him as if trying to become part of him. He felt her frantic heartbeat as she lay next to him in his bed. She was scared. The nightmares had once again invaded her dreams. Gently he wrapped his arms around her and whispered soft words of comfort. He heard her snores as he began to drift back into the dark realms of sleep._

_She couldn't sleep and the boy that shook lay awake as well. She begged and pleaded for some entertainment. He was tired. His eyes drooped involuntarily as he formed his hands into the familiar shape of a bird. Her face lit up with a smile and suddenly all his tiredness fled from him._

_His eyes widened as he watched in horror as his sister hit the ground. It had been one bullet that clenched the life of his big sister. This was the sister who always looked out for him. This was the sister who was the strong one. Her life was snuffed out in an instant. Why had the Lady failed to protect another of their group?_

"_Why? What did we do wrong? We believe in you!" he screamed from the rooftop as the helicopters surrounded him._

_The blue lady was before in all her glory. That one statue proved to him to be a fitting alter for his sacrifices. Blood would pay the price for him to have peace. Blood would make him whole again. Her heard the footsteps behind and turned to face this new enemy. Instead he saw the face of her he loved best. "Max," he whispered in reply to his name._

Alec's mind continued to swim as he looked through all of the complicated encoding.

_He was out in the base in Nevada. The twins were being punished for their siblings' transgressions. He was a twin just like the others but they avoided him. X5-600 beat the crap out of him whenever he had the chance. He knew the price of saying one word would be echoed in bruises._

_He saw the explosive go off before he could do anything. He screamed her name but Rachel did not answer. She lay still on the ground as the handlers dragged him back to Manticore._

_He was supposed to be in psy-ops for the Berrisford Agenda but he had managed to escape. He didn't care at this point who was punished for his behavior. His mind swam with the images. He wanted to die. He wanted the pain to just cease to exist. **If you sacrifice then the Lady will save you. If you sacrifice then the Lady will heal your soul. You will be whole again. You will be free.**_

_He knew it was wrong but he couldn't go back that world of slavery. He didn't say it out loud but he wanted her to kill him. He used her love for him as a tool to get her to commit the sin of killing him. **You don't know how much I love you, Maxie. I love only you. Only you are who I want.** He did not speak those words because he knew she would loose her courage. He was never so grateful for the nothingness that consumed him when she snapped his neck._

_He woke in the black psy-ops chamber. He was supposed to be dead. The base in New Mexico where he had been before at thirteen was before him again. **It wasn't supposed to be this way.**_

"_Ben?" the familiar looking brunette said. For a moment he recognized the name but it didn't register._

"_My designation is 494," he answered not know he was speaking a lie._

Alec's eyes lit upon the computer screen. There it stood before him the truth in all its horror.

There had never been an X5-494. There had only ever been 493. He was a killer. He had committed those gruesome murders and now he could remember it all.

He barely heard the footsteps behind him. He knew it was her just like he had known it was her in the church.

"Alec?" Max asked.

For the past hour she and Logan had played cat and mouse. The manipulation was so easy for Max to do. Logan had bought into her excuse that she was there to check up on him.

In the middle of her act she had felt her link to Alec pull violently. Something was happening and she needed to be with him. She fled Logan's apartment not caring what he thought. Her only concern was Alec. Alec who she knew needed her desperately.

"Alec?" she asked again when didn't respond.

Slowly his hazel eyes met hers.

"Alec doesn't exist," he whispered.

The smallness in his voice and the horror in his eyes made the fear creep further into her. She had never seen Alec afraid like this before. She had never seen Alec so venerable before. That look was something that was so like….Ben. _It can't be,_ she thought wildly.

Frantically her eyes landed on the computer screen. She had expected her mind to be horrified but instead she found soft understanding.

She had known. Deep down she had always known and she didn't care. She didn't care who he was be he the cocky 494 or the traumatized 493. She didn't care because whether he was Ben or Alec she loved him. She horrified at that realization but it was the truth. When it came down to it she loved this man, transgenic, creature who had been her enemy, her brother, and her friend.

He expected her to hit him or run from him. Maybe she would kill again. Instead she walked over to him and hugged him softly.

"We'll figure out what they did to you. It's alright. I'm not going to leave you alone. Ben, I'm never ever leaving you again," she said her words ringing true.

To be continued…..


	10. Shadows

Chapter 10: Shadows

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

A/N: I'm sorry I haven't updated in a while. My computer has gone off the deep end. The damn thing has so many problems and every time I send it in to be repaired it comes back with more problems. So hopefully this time it remains fixed but who knows.

She held him for what felt like forever. She held him in her arms as he lay in shock.

Who was he now? He hadn't been happy with himself when he knew his sins as Alec. Alec was a narcissist. Alec was a liar. Alec went through women faster than most people went through clothing.

But Alec was strong. Alec knew how to handle himself. Alec knew that survival was key. Alec didn't believe in things. He needed to see, and feel for him to acknowledge that something else existed.

Ben was weak. Ben was a murderer. He killed in a cold calculating manner without even a shred of remorse. Ben had a hard time distinguishing from reality and fantasy. He was consumed by his own dreams.

But Ben believed. Ben had faith that tomorrow and the next day would be better. Ben was the perfect soldier, a person bent on achieving his goals. Ben was gentle and he loved deeply. He was loyal to the memories of his siblings.

Now he was unsure of what to call himself or even who he truly was. Was he Alec the manic depressant or Ben the schizophrenic? Neither choice was appealing and neither identity offered him any answers.

Would he revert back into one of his fractured personalities? Would he become detached from everything like Alec only using people for survival? Would be become a killer like Ben in hopes of some higher power fixing him?

Max stroked his hair. She could sense how scared and confused he was.

"Do you hate me?" he asked his voice so quiet she barely heard it.

"I could never ever hate you. I couldn't even hate you when I thought you had ruined my life. I couldn't hate you when we fought in the woods. I've tried to hate you for killing, for lying, for hurting me and I can't," she whispered.

"What's going to happen to me?"

"Nothing's going to happen to you. I won't let anything hurt you."

"Maxie, can we not tell the others? I don't even understand everything myself."

His hazel eyes pleaded with her to understand. He couldn't face the others. Cindy knew about Ben as did Logan and others at TC. They knew that Ben was a traitor, and a killer who offered his murders like sacrifices to some bloody thirsty goddess. They knew that Ben had killed and he couldn't face that. People already had issues with him for being Alec. How would they react when they learned that he was also Ben?

She felt uneasy at his question. This secret would come out but for now it was the only answer that was safe.

"It's your decision. We'll wait until the time is right. Until you know who you are."

"Thank you Maxie."

She felt the shadows close over them. She didn't know what had happened to him and she knew for now he wouldn't answer her. For now he would just remain a calm silent person deep in thought.

"Alec—Ben—what do I call you?" she asked quite confused.

"Just call me Ben when we're alone. Alec when we're with everyone else," he answered as his eyes began to close.

"Ben?"

"Yes?"

"Do you know what you're going to do?"

"For now I'm going to be Alec to everyone else and just Ben to you. Later I'll figure it out. Later I'll know who I am. You should get back to Logan, Maxie. He's probably looking for you."

She ignored his comments as she turned off the laptop and got them a blanket. She pulled it over them and pulled him closer. She held him like he had often held her when they were children.

"I'm going to stay here. I meant what I said Ben. I'm not leaving you," she said lay down next to him.

_Be careful, _his mind warned. _Who knows if you'll snap? Maybe she'll kill you again._

Her own mind spoke quietly as she closed her eyes. _What if he kills again? What will you do then? You won't survive the loss of both Ben and Alec._

The two slept even with the shadowy nightmares beginning to plague them. The truth was out and whatever happened next could signify the end for both of them.

In his penthouse, Logan Cale began to think of ways to win back Max. He wasn't blind to what was happening. Alec was encroaching on his relationship. Alec and Max had formed some weird bond. A bond that Logan was determined to sever.

To be continued….

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	11. Perceptions

Chapter 11: Perceptions

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

A/N: Sorry about the long wait. There's just been so much going on with Christmas around the corner and a computer that is constantly dying.

Logan watched carefully as she walked into TC. He watched his eyes narrowed as Max entered the room. He wanted to reach out to her and offer her comfort but Alec was sitting across from him.

Ben's hazel eyes flickered with regret. He shouldn't have put on the spot with his secret. He shouldn't have told her the truth to begin with.

Max's head was spinning with the truth. They had sat in front of the database reading it for several minutes. The truth wasn't pretty.

Ben had been caught six months after the escape. He had been acting rouge instead of falling Zack's orders. It was something that Max didn't want to think about. Ben hadn't explained his reasons for disobeying Zack. He didn't tell her about where he was living or how he was getting by. He had just explained that he had been caught at a catholic church staring at a statue of the blessed lady.

After his recapture Manticore had shipped Ben out to the base in New Mexico to have his memories restructured. They had changed his barcode and sent him to the base in Nevada to be with the other twins. Most of the twins bought the story except for X5-600, Zack's twin. 600 had known that something was off about 494. He didn't remember that number being originally listed on the master list. Instead it had been added hastily and 494 had gone later than the other twins had. The pieces clicked in place for 600 and he knew that there was a traitor in their midst.

600 also known as Lane proceeded to beat the crap out of Ben as often as he could. Ben was always been sent to the infirmary. Lane broke Ben's bones, tortured him at night and isolated him during the day. Lane was a masochist and Ben had very few chances to strike back at his attacker.

Lane was a combat designed X-5 while Ben was a stealth. Ben's only chance in a fight as a kid was to run hard and far. It never worked for long but it bought him some time. When they were split up in individual units Ben was happy. He no had longer to deal with Lane's constant abuse. The last time Lane and Ben had met, it was Lane that ended up in the infirmary with broken bones.

After that Ben was initialized into Manticore. He had his own unit and was viewed as one of the best X-5 operatives they had. He did assassinations but the Berrisford mission was his first time coming face to face with a human being.

Max didn't understand why Ben refused to talk about Rachel Berrisford. She had assumed that it had been Alec who had fallen in love with Rachel not Ben. It was Alec with all the emotional baggage surrounding Rachel. Instead Ben had only looked sad when she asked about Rachel.

It was bothering Max considerably. Were there two personalities, Alec and Ben, or was there one man had spent part of his life behind a persona? They were the same person and yet it was very difficult for her to understand that.

Was it Ben who had fallen in love with Rachel Berrisford or was it Alec? Was it Alec had systematically killed people or was it Ben?

That was another that was bothering her to no end. Ben refused to talk about his hunting. He refused to explain why he had been killing people. Had he wanted one of them to kill him? Had he wanted her to find him? Had he been seeking death or was he seeking forgiveness for some sin he had committed?

Max marched into TC. Her mind lingering on the truth that only she and "Alec" knew. Everyone was waiting for her to start the meeting. Her eyes looked up into Ben's eyes. They both knew what they had to do.

Ben had his own problems this morning. It wasn't difficult to be Alec when he hadn't known he was Ben. He knew that his most recent time in psy-ops had erased the knowledge that he was Ben and further reminded him that he was Alec.

He felt really strange this morning just paling around with his friends. He had teased the hell out of Mole. He had poked fun at Max. He had reacted normally to everyone except for Cale.

He had hated Cale when he first met the man. Cale was a do-gooder but it wasn't for selfless reasons. Cale did things to prove to himself he could make a difference. He did things to build up his own self-image. Logan Cale wanted to be a hero and couldn't face it that he was just the average man.

_Funny Maxie's dating a man that reminds her of dear old 'Deck,_ Ben thought as he continued to observe the ordinary.

Logan felt the transgenic's gaze. Alec was up to something and he was hoping that Logan didn't get a sniff of it. Logan knew that Max may be closer to Alec now but she wouldn't tolerate Alec harassing him. Alec was trying move in on Max and Logan knew that Max would proclaim her loyalty to him. After all they were star-crossed lovers destined to be together.

"You know Alec staring is annoying," Cale said.

Ben just smirked cockily. "You would know all about annoying wouldn't you Logan?"

"What are you up to? If you get Max killed I'll—"

"You're a bigger idiot than I thought. Why would I want to get Max killed? I'm her SIC if she dies I'm the CO. I don't want to be in command of this operation. I would rather Max did the difficult work leaving me time for a private life."

"I'm glad you think of Max as the responsible one. She doesn't mean anything to you. I'll keep that in mind."

Ben felt his blood rising. He didn't have to justify his feelings for Max to this thing. He hated Logan. He hated Logan for touching Max, for making her smile, for taking what didn't belong to him.

"One of these days Cale," Ben said with a deadly edge to his voice, "you'll see the truth: Max doesn't belong with you. She was claimed long before you ever appeared on the scene. You think I use her? Look in the mirror old man. She's your personal cat-burglar first and you're girlfriend last. You're not even worthy enough to kiss her feet let alone her lips."

Logan pulled back away from the transgenic as the meeting started. Alec talked happily to Mole and Dix. He noticed carefully how every eye in the room met Max's when she entered.

"Lydecker is making a move. He's been collecting transgenics for his new base. We know he was in New Mexico but we have no clue to where he went. We have to find him," Max said.

"Aren't there Manticore bases located around the world?" Logan asked. "Could he just have relocated to a foreign country?"

"Why would the US government want to put bases in places that aren't safe? Trangenics are considered government property. Most likely good old 'Deck's under our nose," Ben said.

"Well Princess since you're the brains of the operation, where do you think he's at?" Mole barked.

"Where it all started, home sweet home. The Gillette base."

To be continued….


	12. Encounter

Chapter 12: Encounter

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Gillette, Wyoming—it was a place that invoked terror into Ben. He had grown up in that small enclosed space. It was here he had crafted the beautiful vision of the Blue Lady. From a psychological standpoint, the Blue Lady was a creation to represent the mother that Ben had never had. From a religious standpoint, she was the ultimate goddess that had developed a bloody thirsty following in her one true disciple.

He didn't want to go through the whole Blue Lady deal. It was like Rachel Berrisford. He knew it had bothered Max that he felt guilt for Rachel. Then again the whole identity thing wasn't easy for him either. He just knew that he had loved Rachel as both Alec and Ben. Just as he knew that the hunting trips had been both Alec and Ben.

He still hadn't figured it out. He could assign pieces of his life to Alec and other pieces to Ben. He can filter through the memories had discover the nuances of who he was at the time. The only connection between the two identities was Max.

Max had become his everything. Back at Manticore Max was the one he swore to protect. She was already Zack's favorite but Ben knew that Zack would never understand her. Zack was too controlling, too much a soldier. Maybe that was why Ben had been so devoted to his baby sister.

Even in his insanity he had been happy to see her. She was the one person in the world who could possibly understand Ben. She had been the gentle shoulder he could weep on. When he had thought that they would murder her back at Manticore he had defended her. No one would ever take her away from him.

If only she could see his view of the world. If only she could understand this dulling consuming pain that he was forced to live with. Death had been her only way to help him.

As Alec he had been thought of as a pain in the ass. She had kicked him across the room when he had tried to follow his orders. She was volatile and she ordered him around. She was a bossy bitch that looked so sexy when she was pissed off. As much as he hadn't wanted to admit it, he knew he would go through whatever half-cocked plan she schemed.

She was his best friend. He was her partner. They worked together like a fluid team. It had always been the two of them against the world. It was a disaster when it was the two of them against of each other.

His identity issues would have to wait the road to Gillette was before them. The past and its ghosts waited for him.

The drive to Gillette was silent. Again it was just Max, Logan and Ben. Alec, she had to refer to him as Alec while they were on the trip. Logan was there for computer expertise and to keep up pretenses. It had been Ben's idea.

"_Everyone will think it rather odd if we don't drag along Logan. They'll either think we've become lovers or that we're hiding something," Ben reasoned._

Still she wished it was just her and Ben. This had been their home for several years. This had been the place where they had lost Jack and Eva. If it was just them then she would know how Ben felt about the entire thing.

Instead they had to drag Logan with them. How could Logan possibly understand this? He wasn't there when her brother and sister were killed. Logan understood loss and suffering but he wouldn't understand this. He hadn't witnessed the systematic killings of two of his siblings.

Manticore had treated them as if they were animals. They had been caged and chained. They had been trained to kill. How many people knew how to kill in such a cold methodical way? How many people were raised in a military environment with the sheer knowledge that they would be soldiers?

Max didn't think about the place where they were going. If Lydecker was back there then what would happen? It was just a reconnaissance mission. They would gather data and analyze the situation. They wouldn't have to set foot in the Gillette base if they did this properly.

Logan ditched the car less than a mile away from Gillette. The silence had driven the ordinary to quit making conversation. He had attempted conversation eight different times to either be ignored (Max) or glared at (Alec).

It had reminded him of the time he had driven Max and Zack to his family's cabin. Zack had just sat in the back seat constantly shooting him dirty looks and Max had sat there uncomfortable.

The road to Gillette was monitored. It was easy for the two X-5s to avoid sensors. They moved quicker towards the base. Logan followed trailing behind.

It was evident even from the woods that the Gillette Base was now in operation. Ben's neck prickled with apprehension. Something was dangerously wrong. He could feel it in the night's air.

Logan felt the hand grab his neck in a rough gesture. His breathing stopped when he looked into a pair of familiar eyes.

"Hello, baby sister, little brother."

To be continued…


	13. Brothers

Chapter 13: Brothers

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

**A/N: At long last Broken Soldier isn't only updated but it's finished. I felt so bad about not updating this story. So thanks for everyone who has stuck around with this story. Hopefully Ghosts Not Forgotten will be finished soon.**

He gripped tightly his hands firmly around Logan's throat. He had waited so long to have this maggot of a man in hands.

Logan gurgled as the hand around his throat began to tighten. "You're supposed to be dead," he croaked.

The brown eyed soldier merely grinned, his hands still pinning his victim to the tree. Max could feel shock running through her. She had seen him fall.

"Catching flies, Maxie?" he asked.

She was still in shock when a fist collided with the back of her head. Ben too had been staring at Logan and Seth and almost didn't hear the footsteps behind him and Max. He pivoted his eyes burning as he glanced at his oldest brother who loomed over Max.

Without a second thought he blurred pulling his brother away from his sister grabbing him in a headlock.

Guilt and pain ripped through Max as she glanced from Logan and Seth to Ben and Zack. She was responsible for all this. Ben's hands tightened around Zack's throat. He could snap his big brother's neck and a matter of minutes thereby ending this scene.

If Seth decided to kill Logan it would save Ben the trouble at a later. Logan cared only for Eyes Only and one day his crusader mission would get Max killed.

"Well isn't it Maxie and her little friends," Zack said struggling to breath as Ben's grip tightened.

Max's mind rushed in dizzying patterns as she glanced at her two big brothers. She had seen Seth fall from the Space Needle. His footing had slipped and he had plummeted down.

She had been so sure that Seth hadn't survived the fall from the Space Needle she never made sure that that was actually the case. And Zack….

"_This is the only way to help him Max."_

"_But it hurts Logan. He's my brother."_

"_At least he will be safe in Canada."_

She had believed him. She had chosen not for the first time Logan over a member of her family. It was always Logan's safety that mattered. Logan—since when had he become her world?

She had betrayed Ben in order to keep him safe but Zack she had betrayed for Logan. For Logan she had sacrificed so much. Max was so caught in thought she didn't notice the other X-5s surrounding them.

Seth immediately let go of Logan and charged towards Ben sending the smaller man to the ground. Zack grabbed Max and pulled the shocked girl.

At that moment something snapped inside of Max as she pushed and kicked at her brother but Zack countered every move.

Logan moved to help the two X-5s but found himself staring down the barrel of a gun.

"Do like your brothers now?"

Lydecker. Ben's blood rose deep within him. Why the hell was that bastard here?

The world went black as the taser met his body.

To be continued…


	14. Captured

Chapter 14: Captured

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Alone. He had been in this room countless times before. As a little boy, as a young man. This room was where he had spent most of his life. Again and again he had been put in here.

"Hello 493."

He turned towards the woman who entered the room.

"Aren't you supposed to be dead Renfro?" he said the sarcasm lacing his voice.

"Funny I though the same thing about you," she replied a light smile touching her face.

Ben screamed as the electricity went through his body.

Logan's eyes shot open. His head ached from hitting the ground and the impact of Seth's fists. His throat was sore and the bruising was in thick patches.

It had been years since had had met Seth. Seth had been one of his operatives and though they had never gotten along they had a great business relationship. At least they had one until that night when Manticore had tracked Seth down.

Logan hadn't known then what Manticore was and so he hadn't put up a fight to save the young transgenic from being captured. It wasn't his business and Seth had been thinking of walking away from Eyes Only.

"It's good you're awake, Logan. We need to talk."

"I don't have time to talk Lydecker. Where is Max?"

"Max is safe right now."

"Let me see her."

"You don't have any power here Cale. I have all the cards. Besides I don't think you know everything that's going on around you."

"I'm sure I know everything."

"Really like the fact there's a traitor in your midst."

Max woke up in a cold room. This was all her fault.

She had stayed still during most of the fighting. Leaving Ben defend them by himself. She had seen him jerk and thrash as he pulled his body. His body had convulsed as the electricity went through his nervous sister. She closed her eyes trying to blank out the images of his pain.

"Hello Maxie."

She opened her eyes to gaze back at the face of her big brother.

"Hello Zack."

Renfro smirked as the young X-5 struggled against his restraints. Ben had always been one of her favorite transgenics. Designed specifically by Sandeman, X5-393 was the perfect transgenic specimen. His mental and emotional defects weren't a concern of Renfro. Here was the perfect killer, Manticore's perfect little toy.

He was a stealth series designed for speed and spying missions. His intelligence was high in the extremes.

But he had been designed by Sandeman for a specific reason. And hell or high water she was going to make sure he fulfilled his purpose.

Max glanced at her brother not thinking about anything. His blue eyes were cold and his face was hard.

"I was told to check on you."

There was no warmth in Zack's voice. It was cold devoid of all emotion.

"I guess I deserve you being angry at me."

"It has nothing to do with anger Maxie. I get it. In the end Cale is the most important thing to you. You have no loyalty to anyone but him."

She felt like she had been slapped. The tears streamed down her face once her brother left her.

She didn't deserve this.

She looked at the spot where Zack had stood to find a thin piece of metal. Slowly she began to pick the lock to her cell.

The bed was hard and felt the cold metal of the restraints. The blood was being cut off from his hands. The electricity had stopped and Renfro was long gone. He had heard her voice in the hallway giving orders to an X-5.

"Did you do your assignment?"

"Yes Ma'am," said the familiar voice.

That had been minutes ago and the voices had faded.

The door opened and he closed his eyes. He didn't want to look at his new torturer. Instead of the sharp prick of the needle warm hands ran over his arm. The shackles were loosened quickly.

His eyes opened quickly to meet the warm brown gaze.

"Maxie?"

"Come on. We're getting out of here."

To be continued….


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15: Truth

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Logan's eyes widened at Lydecker's words.

"You don't know. That's interesting. I thought Max was the love of your life."

Logan practically spit at Lydecker. "Max and I belong together."

"I thought I warned you about that before. But then again you do always assume you're right. These kids aren't normal human beings."

"Max is."

"Tell yourself whatever helps you sleep. But even your Maxie isn't perfect and she's definitely not human. But that wasn't what I was talking about."

"Like I'd believe you. Come on 'Deck, you know me and the work I do."

"Yes, I do. That's why I'm surprised you haven't figured it out. You always disliked members of Max's 'family' so it's surprising that one's been sitting under your nose since she broken out of Manticore the second time."

"The only person who came back with Max was Alec and that was later."

"Yes, the X-5 you know as Alec. Tell me Mr. Cale what do you know about this _Alec's_ past?"

"He was one of the clones. Manticore cloned X-5 393."

"But you did know that most of the clones weren't as good as the originals."

Logan remembered his encounters with Sam and the rumors he heard about Zack's clone 600. All the clones seemed to be lacking in something. Alec, however, appeared to be able to keep up with Max. Besides his lack of morality Alec didn't have severe issues.

"You're point?"

"494 is exceptionally good for being a clone. Plus he had a seizure while he was around you didn't he."

"That's what Max said it was. How'd you know about that?"

"His brain scans show signs of it."

"I'm not here to play twenty questions with you 'Deck. Get to the point."

Lydecker smirked. "The great Eyes Only can't figure it out. Does Alec have any of the clones' issues?"

"He's surprising exceptional in that regard."

"You've read part of his record. You should now that there is a chunk of time uncounted for. A few months in '09 for example and a few months while—"

Logan didn't say anything. Alec's records had had a lot of holes in them. Periods of time when nothing was written about the X-5 or when he was viewed to be out of contact. Then the dates from about two years ago hit him. It was the same period as the massive serial killings across the country were happening. And Alec's reappearance on the Manticore records perfectly coincided with the date Max had last seen Ben.

Lydecker bit back a smile as he drank his coffee. Apparently Eyes Only wasn't as stupid as he looked.

The two transgenics moved quickly through the compound. There were several cells where prisoners could be held if their memories served them right.  
It was strange being within the walls of childhood home. This was where they had grown up. This hell hole had marked the glass of their souls. It had left thick impressions marking with once was pure with cracks.

"I hate this place," Max whispered as they passed the place where Eva had died.

Ben glanced at the room that had been their old dormitory. His mind journeyed back to his brother shaking during the night and the fear that they would taken.

Gently he stroked Max's shoulder as the hurried to find Logan.

Logan sat in the dark of the room alone.

Max had known.

That was why she so nice to Alec. Why she and Alec acted different around each other made sense now.

Why hadn't she told him?

Why had she chosen Ben over him?

No, Max would never do that. She must not know. She must believe that Alec was normal and a good friend.

As soon as the door to his cell opened he expected to see Lydecker. Instead his gaze met Max and Ben.

"Max, get away from him."

The words shot out of Logan's mouth before he could think.

"Logan did something happen to you? You're safe right?" Max asked.

"Get away from him."

"It's just Alec, Logan. He's my friend."

Logan's eyes danced around the room wily. He needed to get her away from Ben if it was the last thing he did.

"He's a killer Max."

Max shrank into herself. He couldn't….

"That's right I've killed," Ben said nonchalantly. "It's in the line of duty of being a soldier."

"A soldier pulls out his victims teeth."

Max froze. Logan knew.

Logan took her shocked look for surprise about the truth regarding _Alec._

"Max, sweetheart, I'm so sorry that Ben lied to you. But as soon as we're out of here I promise we'll turn him over to the police."

Max's eyes snapped open. She moved quickly towards Logan shoving him against the wall.

"You won't do anything like that to Ben," she hissed. "He's my br—my friend."

Logan remained terrified as she released him.

The threesome headed quickly towards the doorway. Quickly Logan ran down the hallways. He wasn't going anywhere with psycho-Ben and Max. Logan vanished from their sight as they ran towards the cell that led them to what was one of the side doors.

The door, however, had been walled up some years before and as they turned to run out the other way and find Logan they heard the cell door slam.

The chemicals splashed over them as Renfro opened the gas main. Ben's first reaction was to cover his mouth and hold his breath. Most likely it was sleeping gas.

His lungs burned gripped with an icy pain.

Don't breathe.

Don't breathe.

Don't breathe.

But his lungs refused to listen as they opened and took in much needed air.

He gazed at Max only to see her looking at him with a dazed expression.

The scent was overpowering and he could smell her everywhere. Heat. It was the sweet scent of heat.

Ben pulled himself away from her.

NO! He wasn't going to do this

Max moved closer her hips swaying to her internal rhythm. Her eyes were feral as she moved closer to him pulling him towards her until their bodies were in time.

To be continued….


	16. Experiment

Chapter 16: Experiment

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

What had he done?

He had crossed the line. Lying next to him was a naked Max who was marked from head to foot with bruises and bites.

He could smell it in the air: blood, sweat, seamen.

He hadn't. He couldn't have.

"I take it you enjoyed the pheromones?"

His darkened eyes met Lydecker.

"You're working with Sandeman."

"Guilty as charged. He wanted me to make sure you two got to this point."

"Bastard! You had no right."

"493 this is what you were designed for. You were designed to be her protector, her partner and her mate. You had to fulfill your function."

"Damn you!"

"Temper Ben, you wouldn't want to do something to lead you into trouble."

_He had been stupid. In the last place he was hiding he had almost been discovered._

"_How can that kid be that fast?"_

_Only in running was he free. He could as fast as a small car after all he was designed for stealth._

_He didn't hear the helicopters as he entered Kansas City._

"_Hello 493, or should I call you Ben?"_

_He didn't have a chance to run as Lydecker shot him with the tranquilizer._

His eyes were defiant as he pulled the blanket further over Max. He wasn't letting Lydecker look at her like that.

"You always so protective of Max aren't you Ben? Did you know that was part of your programming?"

He could hear the lie in the words. He protected Max because he wanted to.

"_Without the other one he's as good as dead," Renfro's voice was hard._

_Her office was the same cold place it had always been._

"_Not true. I think he is still useful," the older man said._

_Sandeman._

"_What do we do about his disobedience and the fact that his memories are struggling with the reindoctrination?"_

"_Put him in reindoctrination. We don't want him to remember before."_

"_Even if we have to erase his teammates especially the other one?"_

"_He'll know her when he sees her again. No memories for him."_

But he had gotten his memories back. He had gotten his freedom.

"You've underestimated me 'Deck."

"You're what you were designed to be Ben. You're just a soldier. Nothing special. Just a unit that was designed to be something," Deck said as he shut the door.

He could feel Max stirring under the blanket.

"Ben?" she asked slightly groggy.

"It's alright Maxie."

It was only then that she realized they were naked.

"WHOA! What the hell happened?"  
"Lydecker hit us with pheromones."

The memory of being sprayed down with the chemicals hit Max like a freight train.

"We—"

"Yes, we did."

She felt like she was going to hurl.

_Deep hazel eyes that turned towards hers. Eyes that were feral and shining with gold. Her body hummed as he moved closer._

_So beautiful, so beautiful. But he had always been beautiful. It wasn't his body though that was beautiful. It was him, all of him._

_The feral smile that promised her hours of pleasure. Her lips met his as she tasted the salt of his sweat._

She wanted to scream. It hadn't been them. It couldn't have been them.

Ben was her brother. Her brother—it was who he had always been.

Ben didn't look at her. Instead he closed his eyes listening for a sound. It was quiet outside, too quiet for his taste.

He glanced at the air vent in their cramped room.

It wasn't the best way to escape but it would have to work.

To be continued….


	17. Escape

Chapter 17: Escape

Disclaimer: OWN NOTHING!

Max felt like screaming as they moved through the air ducts. This was ridiculous.

"It's tight up here," she complained to Ben who was crawling in front of her.

He glared at her. "Suck it up soldier."

"You sound like Zack."

"Don't," it was said so coldly that Max stopped smirking.

"Don't get your panties in a twist."

"Don't compare me to him. I'm not like him."

Apparently she had hit some unknown nerve. But then again Ben and Zack had never been extremely close.

Ben didn't want to think about his former CO. Zack and Ben had split years before. There had been years of resentment especially involving Max.

"I don't want to ever come back here," he muttered to himself.

His own guilt involving what he and Max done was still weighing on him.

He had known Max had slept with people before so had he but the two of them to—

He had been a test subject for Manticore. They had taken everything from him. His childhood was nonexistent. He had known how to kill since he was five years old.

The stories he had made up were his way of explaining the insanity and coping with the horror around him. How was he supposed to understand what was going on?

Then they had taken his memories. Ben became lost and he became Alec.

Rachel had been another loss and now Max.

NO! he screamed in his head.

He wasn't loosing Max. She had a constant in both of his lives and he wasn't giving up the one person who understood him.

Max didn't focus on what had happened between herself and Ben. Nor did she think about Logan. Right now was about making it out of here.

She tried not to think about what this place meant. This was where Jack, Eva and Tinga had died.

Manticore had been her prison for years. She would never call it home. Home was where you felt safe. But here was where she had brothers and sisters.

The vent eventually led them to the outside.

They had reached safely in the woods. It was dark but their eyes could see as the headed towards the road. They ran as fast as they could with one of them constantly circling back to double check for pursuers. There was no sign of life until they met with a pair of headlights.

"Need a lift?"

Logan picked them up in his car less than three miles away from Manticore. "Max, I was so worried."

The exoskeleton whirled as he tried to hug Max but Max could only look at Ben.

"It wasn't your fault," she whispered to the other X-5.

"Maxie, I'm sorry about Lydecker and the experiment."

Max shook. She had been violated but she wasn't the only one.

"Ben, that entire incident never happened."

"Max—"

"It never happened."

"So where does that leave us?"

She cringed internally as she said the word.

"Partners."

Logan smiled from the driver's seat. Partnerships could always dissolve.

To be continued…


	18. Acceptance

Chapter 18: Acceptance

Disclaimer: I don't own Dark Angel.

**TWO MONTHS LATER**

Max was grateful when her pregnancy test came back negative but part of her felt a hint of sadness.

She wasn't ready to be a mother. Sure she'd make a damn good one. No bastard would ever have the opportunity to experiment on her kid.

What the hell was this?

She was designed to be someone's mate. Ben's mate. What the hell?

Ben had been a brother to her growing up. Of course he wasn't that now. He was her friend.

Not that Ben wasn't attractive, all X-5s were. They were supposed to be beautiful to draw people out.

But Ben? That was ridiculous. That was like saying she was destined for Zack or Seth or Zane or Jack or Kavi. It was insane.

She couldn't believe it. Even a ride on her baby wasn't helping. She had always loved the night but right now she didn't.

"_Hey Ben?"_

"_What Maxie?"_

"_Can I sleep with you?"_

_The eight year old girl gave him a shy smile._

"_Come on but don't hog the blankets."_

"_Thanks Benny."_

Benny—her Benny—her Ben. He had always been hers. Never had he been anyone else's but now that the possibility of claiming was there—

No, it was what Manticore wanted.

Still even though she pretended it didn't happen she still could remember that night. His hands had been soft as they ran across her flesh. His kiss had been sweet.

"Why can't my life be less of a disaster?"

Life was a bitch.

She sped her bike down towards the familiar address. Of all the nights for him to contact her it had to be one where she was extremely pissed off.

She could go through the front door but this was more fun.

"What is it with you people and my rooftop?"

"You better spill, Logan. I don't have all night."

"Alright Eyes Only has a lead in a murder investigation—"

"Eyes Only? That's why you called me here?"

"Max, I really need your help."

"We terminated that contract long ago. You were supposed to find my sibs and you never did."

"Max, we're friends, lovers, you could at least help me."

"I thought I told you it was over? I seem to remember me saying that back at Manticore."

Max could smell the chicken and pasta in the air.

"By the way not interested in dinner. If that's all you want Logan I'm going."

"Actually that wasn't the only reason I called you here," Logan said maneuvering his wheelchair.

"Alright I'm all ears."

"Ben."

"What about Ben?"

Logan didn't know what the hell he was supposed to say. It was pretty obvious that the guy was dangerous. Who cares if he had been Alec and hadn't done anything to make him suspicious? It wasn't like Logan had ever trusted Alec. Alec was another one who was always at the center of trouble. He reminded Logan too much of Zack.

Speaking of Zack, Max had just let him and Seth go. Who knew if they were going to be coming back after them.

"Max, as usual when it comes to your family you're blind."

Her eyes hardened. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Ben's a serial killer. The police are still looking for him Max. There's even a reward for his capture. That money could finance TC for years."

Max couldn't believe what she was hearing. "Do honestly think I'd do that to Ben? How long before Lydecker gets him back at Manticore and reindoctrinates him?"

"He'll be getting more mercy than he ever gave any of his victims. Think about it Max more than money than TC needs in a year to operate."

Logan put his hand on the small of her back.

"I know it's hard, Max. But he's not your brother anymore. He's just a another killer."

"That must be what I am too. Just another killer."

"No Max, you're different. You're human. The other transgenics—"

"Are what?"

"They're not human. They don't understand right from wrong. You do. You are human while they are nothing more than machines. They don't understand the value of a life. Ben doesn't understand the value of a life."

Max felt her heart thump. Ben understood more than Logan ever could. Ben—her Ben was not a murderer. He had been lost. He was not a killer.

"It will be like putting a wild animal at out its misery. Just one pull of the trigger and Ben will be d—"

He couldn't breathe. He couldn't breathe.

Max pressed her hands down on his throat tighter.

"Logan, if anything happens to Ben I'm killing you first and asking questions later? You got me?"

Logan feebly nodded.

Lydecker's words rang in Logan's head as he passed out from oxygen.

"_You think this is all some kind of joke? These kids are like puppies you can bring home and housebreak? They were designed to kill. Coldly . . . efficiently . . . and happily. You think because she's so pretty that she isn't as dangerous? They're all killers. All they need is a trigger. You may think you have some kind of relationship between the two of you, but let me tell you something, son. She's not the girl next door. You have no idea what she's capable of doing."_

Logan nodded.

To be continued….


	19. Belonging

Chapter 19: Belonging

Disclaimer: I don't own Dark Angel.

Identity.

He had been both, Ben and Alec.

Ben an insane psychopath who was in reality a scared little boy. Alec, another scared little boy who had been abused and broken.

Two men that had been unable to grow up.

Two men who were dominated by Manticore.

Ben by his murderers.

Alec by his unwillingness to open up.

He looked in the mirroring and for the first time he didn't see Alec or Ben. For the first time he didn't see the killer or the liar, the psycho or the maniac depressive.

"Ben?"

Of course both identities had their common thread.

"In here Maxie."

He was in the black clothing that they needed for cat burgling.

"Are you ready for this mission?"

"It can't be any worse than being trapped in Manticore with you, Logan, and our two brainwashed brothers."

She glared at him.

"Oh Maxie, you know I'm joking."

"I swear sometimes you are—"

"Cute?"

She glared again but couldn't hold back the smile that was falling on her lips.

"I was going to say a jackass."

He only smirked in reply as he landed out the window.

It was cold that night but most nights in Seattle were cold. The wind chill factor was probably up and the humidity in the air already let him know that rain was coming. His inner cat was having a field day with that.

Max led them through the dark rooftops of Seattle. Seattle wasn't home.

That was odd to Ben. Alec had considered Seattle a type of home but to Ben no place was home. But this Ben did have a home it just wasn't Seattle.

"So what's tonight's target?"

"The old dock. Word on the street black market electronics are coming in."

"So we're selling them?"

"We're raiding them first for TC and then we're selling whatever Dix can't use."

Ben tried not groan. Playing errand boy for TC was alright when he had sleep but three days without sleep was driving him nuts.

"Maxie, you do remember I don't have shark DNA?"

She smirked. "Maybe you'll learn not make me mad."

Ben just shook his head.

"Come on Ben, I don't like working with other people."

"I know."

"You're the person I trust most."

He didn't say anything.  
_"I trust you."_

_She was five years old and already she had two people she trusted most in the world. Her big brothers, Ben and Zack, she knew they would protect her from anything._

The dock was his least favorite place at night. It was busy during the day but at night it was empty.

"_Max."_

_He said so sure. He knew it was her by barely looking at her. Ten nine years of separation couldn't disguise a bond like theirs. He wanted to hug her. He wanted to ask her why she as here. He needed to know that she loved him. Just for one brief moment he needed to know that someone loved him._

"_Ben, why are you doing this?"_

_With one question she shattered any hope he had that she came looking for him because she missed him._

"_You know why."_

The dock was uninteresting at night. There was always the criminal lurking around it but that same with everywhere in Seattle. People were struggling to survive. Pre-pulse. That's all anyone ever thought about. Like the world had been perfect back then.

What a bunch of idiots.

_She cradled him in her lap stroking back his hair. He knew he was either going to be captured or die. His eyes pleaded with the beautiful goddess who held him. She was his Blue Lady. She was what he worshipped, the only truth he had ever known._

_And when she snapped his neck he forgave her and blessed her._

The movement on the dock was quick. So these must be Maxie's smugglers. He nodded at Max who prepared to move out. Hopefully, it would be enough for just the two of them.

"_494."_

"_His was 493."_

"_Yeah the traitor."_

_They had their orders but he wasn't going to force her. She was tough and most likely she'd be thinking about her friend not him._

_Yeah, like he was going to play substitute to a dead psychopath._

_He'd sleep with her when she realized he wasn't the traitor._

In a few swift movements necks were snapped and the cargo was raided. Some of it was pure crap. Some of it was the good stuff like brand new computers.

_He stared at the hospital bed._

"_Alec?"_

"_Go away Max. I don't need you to me how I always mess up."_

_He felt the gentle pressure of her arms wrap around him._

"_Alec, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry."_

_He hugged her back realizing at least here he was safe._

"Good night Maxie."

She glanced at him her brown eyes watching him predatorily.

"Ben, are you okay?"

"Three days without sleep will make a guy cranky. I know I can go a week or longer without sleep but I prefer not to."

"I talked to Logan yesterday."

Great she wasn't going to let him sleep. "What did Cale want?"

"He wanted to know if he and I can have another chance."

Ben froze. "Why aren't you with him?"

She punched him the shoulder. "Do you think I was going back to him after he threatened to throw you in jail?"

She stared at his impassive face.

"You did didn't you? Unbelievable."

"I never can figure you out Maxie. I used to think that I could but time changes all things."

"It doesn't change us. It doesn't change what I feel for you."

"So what's my status now? Sidekick? Brother? Friend? Partner? What the hell am I to you?"

"You're Ben. You're Alec."

"Speak English Max. I don't get what that means."

The doubt was trying to swallow him whole again. The deep dark pit that he always fell into was waiting for him. The pit that had sank into with the killings and parade of women that went out his bedroom.

Her arms wrapped around him pulling him closer as she stroke his barcode.

"Can't you tell how much I love you? Do I have to force it down your throat?" she asked her angry present as she continued to stroke the barcode. "Ben McDowell sometimes you make me want to hit you."

"You can't just decide you love me one minute."

She kissed him her lips grazing across his in violence. He stared at her.

"As to what you are," she said licking her lips, "I thought it was obvious. My mate."

The End


End file.
